I want to load up these babies and make the drive to Cleveland. I want to watch him laugh at whatever crazy gift Sophie put together for him. I want to watch him grin ear to ear while Maggie sings "happ birday, Pa" over and over again making him blow out his pretend candles and eat the pretend cake.
I want to buy him another new t-shirt instead of one for myself. I want to smell Old Spice and cinnamon gum and see if his beard is completely white now.
Yet here I am. Another year has come and gone. He is still gone and I find that the ache still creeps in.
"...even during those times when the path is darkest, He leaves little bits of evidence all along the way - bread crumbs of grace..." (Marybeth Chapman)
I love that! Sometimes I think they are more like whole, giant loafs of grace that you couldn't miss if you tried!
So, at the end of today, God's grace has once again overwhelmed me and rubbed soothing balm on a heart threatening to crack. The realization that my God will continue to do this year after year, never growing weary of soothing my aches with His Love, is overwhelming. How can anyone miss His goodness?! How can I ever wonder why He orchestrates things the way He does?! Because I am weak and tiny and in desperate need of more of Him! Blessed be The Lord God of heaven and earth, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort!